Embrace Scratches and Dents

Get rid of the phone case and screen protector

One of the biggest culture shocks I remember growing up in an Indian household was the lack of plastic covering on home appliances at my friend’s house. Microwaves, screens, & remotes all without the original plastic covering they came with; my mom would’ve gone crazy. Compare that with my house, it doesn’t matter the remote is only $5 the plastic HAD to remain till it stopped working.

I carried over this caution as I started to live alone.

The obsession to keep things in perfect, pristine condition came naturally especially for expensive things. I spent $1000 on my phone, there is NO WAY I wasn’t buying the most secure phone case with the thickest screen protector. I invested significant money in a utility, and the longer I keep the utility in working condition the less money I have to spend. There is also the off chance that I may want to sell my phone later on, which means more money saved. It doesn’t matter if the phone case made my pockets uncomfortable or if the phone screen didn’t feel good. Having things in the ‘out-of-box’ condition made sense.

Given these thoughts you can imagine my distain when I saw a video of Casey Neistat engraving a macbook he just bought with his information and personal likings . Did he break his laptop ? Well no. Are the capabilities of the utility broke in anyway ? Again, no. But he ruined it !

If I were to do that there is essentially no resell value. My laptop would not be in the perfect condition.

There is an inherent tradeoff that I’m actively making when striving to keep the ‘out-of-box’ condition on my things. For the perfect condition & potential monetary gains, I am sacrificing comfortability & personal relatability. This tradeoff applied to circumstances where saving money & achieving proficiency in my day to day responsibilities were the main life goals.

My dynamic with materialistic things changed as I had more income to spend. The tradeoff no longer made sense, i.e. : a $50 saving I could be making 3 years from now when I sell my TV and remote doesn’t warrant the inconvenience. I remember walking around the first month after buying my last iPhone and deciding to not use a case or screen protector, it felt so weird. The first time I dropped my phone and denting the corner was traumatic! That residual part in me terrified that now I lost the pristine condition. But surprisingly, this feeling faded. In fact nowadays the dents I have are a non-issue.

Then, my thinking process started to shift as the years went on.

There is one aspect that directly impacted the change that I want to highlight : security. Progress in my financial security & routine in life’s unknowns has allowed me to focus on the nuanced aspects of living versus surviving. This comfortability is a privilege and not always guaranteed.

All of this sort of makes sense: the more money you have, the more luxury you can afford in time and comfortability. You have more leeway to make mistakes and fix issues of more significance. All of this applied to my relationship with things that I bought.

This thinking carryovers to life holistically.

Specifically the obsession of keeping things in ‘out-of-box’ condition. There is this inherent acceptance of the common/average aspects of living day-to-day. What the majority of people have done with some semblance of success is treated as the gold standard. Deviations from this common is taking a risk that could jeopardize the end goal of being successful.

The inherent tradeoff still applies, but with some rewording : For the perfect condition life & potential monetary gains, I am sacrificing comfortability & personal relatability in my life.

In my own life there were ideals that I chased for years all based on the fact that the majority of people wanted it too. Scholastic awards, acceptances in colleges, weekend plans, hobbies, the type of people you know; all these factors essentially boiled down to build a certain reputation held in the eyes of others.

It would be easy to dive into the asian/indian influences & detail the differences of saving face versus the individual focus present in western society, but I believe that distinction is surface level. In my opinion, this obsession applies unconditionally to all societies, it’s just a matter of the spectrum of acceptability for risk.

Henry David Thoreau famously said, “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” in his book Walden. There may be exceptions given the circumstances and external factors. But for the vast majority of people, this desperation comes from the comfortability provided in staying in the average, the known, the safe; what the general person would accept you as. Looking through my current life, there are aspects in which the risk-free prospect stunts the potential for change. Jobs and careers are obvious, but this also applies to the lifestyle, my capabilities and responsibilities, the interests & hobbies I engage in and the people I surround myself with.

What sort of life do I want to live? How do I want my days to look? Where do I want to be challenged, and does my current trajectory provide what I’m striving for?

Again, all of these mindshift changes come from a place of security & is a privilege. Being in such a situation, I know that living life in the ‘out-of-box’ condition would be safe and successful for me. But the tradeoff doesn’t make sense anymore

The life I envison is vastly different from the one I currently have. Certain aspects are more dynamic, while others are routine based. Some are qualifiable goals I know I can reach with a clear path forward, others are ambiguous. The overarching trait among all these changes is that I need to take risks; I want to have more dents & scratches in my life experiences.